I’m being wildly dramatic with the title, I know, but the pun potential of “worshiping at the altar” and “alter” as in clothing, could not be resisted!

While the tide on this surge of creation is receding, I am still interested in mending and altering my clothing, the least of which because I am bothered by all the items that are still waiting in my to-mend pile. As part of my deep dive into mending, altering, and sewing, I did my usual first step of checking out every library book that looked even remotely relevant or intersting on the subject (inter library loan you’re a real one!!!). A lot of them I found rather repetitive, covering mending basics, but the one I liked most was Mend!: A Refashioning Manual and Manifesto by Kate Sekules, because it had a historical and activism bend, as well as mending instructions, and Mend and Make Fabulous, which included not only mending instructions but also ideas on altering clothing to give them a new look, which is what I’ve termed as modding.

While working on fixing the too-short sleeves of one of my sweatshirts I was listening to a Youtube video by Mina Le about why the quality of clothing has declined and all of these thoughts have been swirling around in my mind and ripening into a feeling of something.

I was really energized by shopping at a nearby vintage market this past weekend, which also fed into my considerations on mending and clothing quality. All of this naturally inspired me to go through my giant pile of “to donate or alter” clothing and check the fabric content. I was surprised by the 100% cotton finds I had in there and for most of the items in that pile it occurred to me that I probably shouldn’t have put some of those items in the pile in the first place. For a bunch of other items, I could figure out a way to alter them to make them wearable.

Staring at my midnight pile all over my closet floor I was overwhelmed with it all. Some of those clothing items I had put in that pile because they were ok but they didn’t make my heart sing. One skirt was completely unworn because I’m not a short skirt kind of a person and I’m finally starting to come to the realization that it’s ok to not force myself to be that person.

I had been reading Substack articles from fashion and especially second hand and sustainable fashion writers about really focusing on our closet and trying to wear everything that you have in an attempt to get more creative and figure out the pieces that you gravitate towards. And if I’m being really honest, I gravitate towards jeans and t shirts. Sometimes those t shirts are plain, sometimes they have a graphic design on them. Sometimes I wear a short sleeve button up.

I’ve been wanting to add more whimsy to the way I dress but it’s honestly kind of exhausting to constantly be pushing myself out of my comfort zone like that. My favorite new addition to my wardrobe was a pair of overall shorts I got last summer, which was just the perfect balance of going outside my comfort zone, adding whimsy, and being super comfortable. It’s one of my favorite pieces of clothing that I own.

Sure, it’s fun to play dress up sometimes and I’m not going to get rid of my tulle skirt, but I think making peace with the fact that 98% of the time I do not want to play dress up and will want to just grab some jeans and a tshirt is what I really need.

And with that frame of mind I took another look at my midnight mess and realized that while yes, I could spend the next eternity modding all those items and figuring out which ones I can use for scrap, it isn’t worth my time to do so and that’s ok. Some of those things I put in the donation pile because I have unpleasant associations with them and I need to move on with my life. Sometimes it just doesn’t make my heart sing, even if it’s still in my style wheel house. And all of that is ok.

I think my next step is to identify the clothing that I really like and want to make the effort to mend. One of those items is a pair of pajama pants where the elastic gave out. This is totally fixable and I’d get my favorite pajama pants back! But the stuff I bought and never wore, even if they’re 100% cotton don’t necessarily need to stick around. Sure, I could maybe keep some of the t shirts for scrap fabric. I think in that case the company shirts are best since no one else will want them. But I can let go of the other stuff. I need to let go of the other stuff and make room for myself and for the future.

And moving forward I can still shop second hand and not feel guilty that I could just shop my own closet if I just changed enough of my “to get rid of” clothes.

So the next research to do is how to donate the clothes I don’t want to keep in a sustainable way. I’m not intersted in sending all this stuff to go pollute the planet somewhere.